Our Inspired Journey

Today we found out that Cole has some level of hearing loss. We've wondered for a while and based on the first round of testing done today by two audiologists and an evaluation from an ear, nose, throat specialist, it was determined that Cole cannot hear what we can. We don't know to what degree yet...more tests will give us those answers in time. For now we enter into a journey with our sweet boy. A journey that will help us understand more about the way God has created him. Every parent strives each day to know more about their child...to help them reach new heights spiritually, emotionally, socially, etc. The greatest hurdle for John and I at this point is to add a new facet of searching and discovery in our parenting of Cole. We have so many questions and answers will come in time, but we know we are right where God wants us to be to navigate through these uncertain waters.

One of the first things the ear, nose, throat specialist said to us after testing was complete, was "Well, you've certainly stumbled into the right place." We knew at that moment, however, that it wasn't our accidental stumbling that brought us here at all. It was the intentional decision to say YES to God when he asked us to believe that He had somewhere else for us to be. We believed Him then and we believe right now, that God has brought us to this place for a clear purpose...to draw us and others closer to Himself.

The doctor went on to tell us that one of the greatest child hearing programs in the state and even nation was located across the hall from where we sat. I can't help but weep when I write this. God is not interested in torturing those he loves. Some of you may look at the circumstances we've endured since arriving in this new place and think...wow, so when are you packing your bags? No...I don't feel tortured in the least. Instead I am in awe of the way God gently leads us to complete trust and devotion to Himself. We may have a little boy who is deaf to some degree, but the Lord always provides a way to navigate through the waters. As the waters rise we can choose to blame God, stop swimming and drown; or we can ask for help as we learn to swim through our new circumstances, giving glory to God for each stroke that keeps us afloat.

For anyone who is interested to know more about the program to which we've been referred, (ECHO - Expanding Children's Hearing Opportunities) please go to the following link: http://www.carle.com/Hospital/centprog/echo.shtml
It is very comprehensive in the way it explains the next steps we'll undertake and the process we'll follow from here. This process of testing will give us more answers, but for now all we know if that his right ear drum does not vibrate at all to sound and his left eardrum vibrates only slightly. Again...more answers will come as we have our next appointment on the 17th with doctors from the ECHO program.

When I first heard the doctor refer to Cole as a "hearing loss" patient, the reality of it all seemed to hit me quickly as I fought back tears in the waiting room, trying to make the next appointment for testing with a level head. I just don't know how to wrap my mind around what this all means and how life will look differently depending on what we continue to find. All I know to do is cling to truth. God made Cole perfectly...when He formed him in my womb (just as he's forming our next little one now), He didn't make any mistakes or leave anything out. His plan for Cole's life is complete. What comfort that brings.

I just joined a bible study at the church down the street from our house on Wednesday nights. A verse that stood out to me as we meet for the first time was Psalm 84:5 "Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage." We believe our lives are a pilgrimage and regardless of our age, we are all on a different leg of the journey. During each part of the journey we are presented with new joys and challenges. The only thing that brings us hope during times like these, is that we know we serve a God who doesn't let anyone slip through the cracks. May you be reminded of this truth today. God wants to journey with you too, and I promise you...it's a much more comforting way to live through however many days we each have left.