These are my sweet kids...my dad took this picture of them in my parent's backyard when we visited them in May...God has used them to speak to me lately...actually it happens often, but this time I'll let you in on it!
It's been a rough couple of weeks...following our return to IL from our trip to visit family and friends in CA, we hit the ground running again. John worked at a music camp 7 days of the week for 3 weeks, and though we prayed for a job for John this summer and God definitely provided for us, it was still hard to be back in the intense swing of things around here. We are SO thankful for the income God provided our family through the camp he worked at....don't get me wrong. It was a blessing! But something happened to me over those 3 weeks. I became hard and callous to the things of God and absorbed in my own survival techniques. (Which are NOT that effective, by the way...) I became a wife and mother even I couldn't stand.
Thankfully, my family is much more patient and forgiving of me than I usually am of myself.
That is the grace of God...giving me a husband and kids who turn the other cheek and respond to me with grace when I deserve it the least. I'm not trying to brag about them, I'm simply thankful. It's good to speak about the goodness of God you see in others. Our culture jumps to criticize much faster than it does to celebrate the good work God has done in the lives of those around us...my family gives me reason to celebrate...
God's design of a FAMILY is really incredible...a group a people you experience both your ugliest and most beautiful moments with. When the Spirit of God lives in you, there is an irrational acceptance that happens in you toward those you're around. I say irrational, because it is just that much of the time. Undeserved, unwarranted, and yet love remains when it is from the well that never runs dry...
I realized something of myself this week...So much of the time, I work to be accepted by others. I want to love and act toward them in a way that is worthy of their love in return, all the while neglecting the ONE who loves me in my weakness and wants to meet me there.
I went on a run last night. I've been wanting to get the routine of this for a while, feeling like it would be a good way for me to combine exercise with a little "me" time in the process. John graciously took over bed-time with the kids so I could run right before dark. It was gorgeous. I wish I had pictures to share, but then again, they probably wouldn't of done the time justice...they are safer preserved in my memory.
I ran at dusk when the air was growing cool and the fireflies where preparing for their nighttime show...(one of my FAVORITE things about Midwest summers is the fireflies)...I took off through my neighborhood and like most journeys, the beginning was easy, rewarding, fun...all the reasons you decided to go in the first place. Toward the end, my muscles started aching, my breath was louder and more labored as I breathed in the cooler but still humid air. Every time I passed someone, I stood up a little straighter, tried to hide my "gasping" for breath, and attempted to make it look easy...why do we do this! It may just be me :) Just as I felt like walking, I sensed this determination rise up in me, and I decided that I would make this run a representation of my pledge and promise to God to keep on pressing on toward the goal set before me...to turn to Him first in my discouragement and not let the enemy take captive of what I gave to God long ago...my heart, my love for my family, and my desire and commitment to please Him and not myself first, and I spoke the truth that I know from God's Word...He has plans for me even still!!! Just as I spoke this, the fireflies started their show...I ran the rest of the way home with sore muscles, amidst gentle glowing light...they danced all around me, celebrating with me that the God of the universe had His gaze fixed upon me and I had finally stopped to notice...it was as if God was reminding me that His love is GOOD, even in and especially in our pain.
Jeremiah 29:11 says...For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I've known this verse for a while...it is one often quoted and memorized. It goes on though, in verses 12-14...
Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."
God asks us to seek. His love is always present but, we so quickly forget and unknowingly neglect the ONE who loves us perfectly. God also says he'll gather us...reclaim us...from the places He has carried us into exile. Why would God exile the ones He loves? Only so we come back to Him with more than we left with....so that we'll want Him more then anything He can give us or do for us.
I chose to PRAISE Him at the end of my run yesterday...the very end when my face had turned the color of my bright red shirt and my expression looked anything but joyful...in the pain, we will be strangely sustained when we, like Job, choose to praise God for who He is, regardless of how we feel.
The picture at the top of this post shows three of the reasons I will keep praising the One who gave me life...
Let this be written for a future generation. That a people not yet created may praise the LORD! Psalm 102:18
LORD, you are worthy of our praise today...the only One who is worthy! Protect us from the enemy who seeks to destroy the ones you love. For the sake of our children, our marriages, future generations, we call on You to save us in all our joy and brokenness, for your glory and fame....so that YOUR name may be known...You are worthy of our devotion Lord! Give us a spirit of perseverance and determination, not in order to prove we're strong, but because we KNOW you are!!! You are good and your promises never fail us. May we turn to YOU today, Father...reclaim the lost and confused, those who have been distracted by the enemy...Thank you for reclaiming us from exile...knowing your love more fully makes this journey more than worth it...thank you for seeking us out, and fixing your gaze upon us...and thank you, LORD for those you've placed here are earth to remind us that you do...
Thanks for sharing this Danice - you are an encouragement. I find myself getting into ruts as I try to let go of my expectations for myself in my new role as a mommy and a wife that is a mommy... and to choose to seek God, even when I am running away from Him the most. I feel like I need to do something, like run, but it is hard to get motivated down here due to weather, and where we live... but reading your blog is reminding me that going for a run could be good for me, and that I need to stop avoiding it. I hope you have a better day!