I've been struggling lately to stay focused...I feel like as soon as I find one thing worthy of my time and I am completely involved in whatever it is I'm doing, my gaze shifts and I am immediately reminded of something else I've abandoned in order to focus on what I'm doing in that moment. I realize this is the challenge of so many of us who are passionate about giving our ALL toward causes, callings, and dreams God has given us to run with and give our life to. There are so many GOOD things we can be doing with our time, it's hard to settle in and focus on one let alone avoid the distractions the enemy throws our way as well.
I've said this before but have been feeling it SO much more intensely lately...I don't enjoy multitasking. After an intense time of multitasking I often feel like I was in survival mode, or as my husband calls it, a "jack of all trades, master of none." As a mother of 3, I am often confronted by the reality that each of my children is so uniquely made and has different needs. Sure, there are times when harmony reaches our house and they happen to all play together and not frustrate each other in the process, but as they get older, I'm noticing more of their differing personalities emerge and it's starting to feel like I'm teaching a combination class again...
You see, I taught 3rd grade for 2 years (loved it!) and then a K-1st combo. The challenge of the combo class was mostly that the students had differing educational goals...Sure, there were some they shared, but for the most part they didn't. I was challenged with the idea that when I was teaching a Kindergarten concept, it was also important that the 1st graders were working on 1st grade standards while I was with the other grade. Now, sometimes they would go to another class and other times work independently but it was never really what I wanted for them...I wanted to be present with them, all the time, realizing each moment was a precious opportunity to help them along their journey of learning and growing.
This is how I feel with my sweet little ones growing up...Each of them is growing up SO quickly and personalities are changing by the day. John and I have nightly debriefing times where we share observations we've had of how the kids are responding to each other and changing and then we talk and pray about how we can be adjusting our parenting accordingly. Since we are passing the baton a lot right now, where one of us will be at therapy with Cole while the other is with Ryder and Cora, these times of coming together help a lot since we are not together as much as we'd like to be. This will change drastically when the kids school schedule changes in August, but for now, John and I feel more like a relay team, passing the baton back and forth than a family unit :) Thankfully this season is coming to an end soon...
...STAGES...
Right now, Ryder loves being creative. In fact, he lives in dreamland most of the day as he thinks up and creates the most incredible things with his legos, train tracks and blocks...whole cities actually. It's pretty awesome. The hard part is that each creation is so precious to him that it is to be untouched by any other sibling and he NEVER wants to take one apart to clean up at the end of the day. He's usually okay with Cole playing with him after he's finished, (we're working on him letting Cole built WITH him) but Cora is completely off limits in Ryder's mind. When she even starts in the direction of something he's built, both boys start wildly waving their hands and screaming, "No, Cora! You can't play over here!!!" I do my best to help her play with them so she's not too destructive, but she seems to enjoy getting in the middle with a little face that says, "You can't tell me where to play!" This doesn't go over too well with her brothers :)
Cole has developed a very sensitive side to his personality lately...He'll turn 3 in a few months and though his language is still behind where most 3 years olds are, his emotions have definitely evolved. He and Ryder (when they are well fed and rested) play pretty well together...Cole often says, "Good job, Ryder!" when Ryder builds a new track for their trains which is Cole's #1 favorite toy right now...Things go pretty well unless they both want the same train or if their trains are going opposite ways on the track and neither one wants to move to let the other go past. When he's frustrated, Cole resorts to hitting and can really do some damage if he wants to! He's a strong, tenacious little thing and we are working on having patience when things don't go his way. A very hard thing for a 2.5 year old to learn, especially when he doesn't yet have enough words to use to convey his frustrations verbally. He has been much more cuddly lately and sometimes cries when Daddy leaves for school, but most of the time says, "Bye, Daddy...Daddy drive truck...Daddy school," knowing that Daddy will be back later.
On a positive note, I am SO proud of Coley lately because he has pretty much mastered potty training. He is still in pull-ups during the day as we are out and about, but at the end of the day for the past few weeks, he's been dry...he goes on his own and has been doing SO well! Praise God for this victory! He's a very determined boy and loves having a task to do that he can complete on his own :) Like today, he saw a pile of clothes and shoes in the garage right outside the door that leads into the house. Without being told, he picked up all the shoes and put them in the shoe basket inside our house, and then took the clothes and put them in his dirty clothes hamper in his room. We had the kids disrobe in the garage the day before since they were all filthy from helping us do yard work...thanks to Cole, everything got to where it needed to go!
Cora would love to be in my arms or lap every moment of the day! She's my little cuddle-bug and is talking up a storm. :) She says, "cheese and crackers, milk, juice, Mommy, Daddy, dog, baby, duck, down, up, and attempts to say almost anything you ask her to in her own way!" Talk about personality...she has quite the little one herself, and John and I are having a blast seeing it evolve as well :) Her new fun thing is pointing at everyone's belly and saying "baby!" I guess she thinks that since Mommy has a baby in her tummy, she and everyone else does too! She's also mastered walking around everywhere with confidence and since she's so social, she loves to get down, walk around and wave to people as she passes them. It's fun to see her little blond head roam around the halls of our church on Sunday mornings :)
With these different stages growing and developing under my roof, it can either be overwhelming to me or a joy. I usually find that in the times I feel overwhelmed, I'm trying to figure out how to care for them all well in my OWN strength and with my own wisdom. I was reminded this morning in church, that we can trade our sorrows in for the JOY of the LORD! Scripture says that HIS JOY is our STRENGTH! So when I am feeling overwhelmed, crushed and alone, it is only because I am ignoring His JOY that is new to me every morning! Whatever it is in each of our lives that cause us to feel like a failure, take heart!
2 Corinthians Chapter 4 says...
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed...Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
The enemy wants us to feel crushed, Jesus died so we can live in victory when drawing on the strength and power of God! This isn't just meant to happen during certain times. Once we begin walking with Jesus, His strength is available to us in abundance, every time we ask. In those moments I am reminded that the Lord's desire for me is that I learn to rely completely on HIS strength, not feel like I can master everything on my own. Maybe that is why He allows me to feel overwhelmed...so that I remember where my strength really comes from :) And then, at the end of the day, moments like this one help remind me that this parenting thing goes way beyond me...what a blessing to see sweet little moments happen that I had nothing to do with. After brushing their teeth, the boys beat me to reading time...I walked in on this...
Lord, give me your perspective as I parent my children. Help me to see them as you do, and as they see me, it is my overwhelming desire that I would live transparently before them so they see how much more effective YOUR power, strength, love, peace and patience is than my own. Thank you, Lord for 3 (almost 4) reminders that I can't do any of this on my own...I need you, want you, and love you today, Father. Amen!
Thank you, heavenly Father, for blessing this precious family. Thank you for reminding Danice that you provide her with all the strength she needs for each day. May we all remember that you can be the strength for our days if we let you.
XOXOX
Oh precious friend! How Great is our God, and we sing How Great is our God!! How Great is our God! I was watching a teaching lesson from a pastor @ Gateway church tonight and he reminded me the reward really is in the journey. How true it is when we stop and think & see all that God is up to in our midst and the midst of those we love and give our lives for. I am trying to use my five senses more to enjoy each moment to it's fullest it can feel like such a race to get through some days, but K and D the joy is in the journey. I love you friend!
Hi Burdett Family!
I was so inspired by your words and your sharing. What a beautiful family and how lucky all the little Burdetts are to have such wonderful parents raising them. I learn from you in every post.
Big kiss to all,
Love, Auntie Ine