Our Inspired Journey

It's official...Cole is a school-going boy! My 3 year old boy officially started pre-school at Carle Auditory Oral School on Thursday! This is the same place where we've been taking him for therapy since he received his implants 19 months ago, but now he gets to be upstairs with the "big kids!" We've been upstairs a few times for therapy camp and to trick-or treat during Halloween, but I think he is so excited to actually get to go up the elevator everyday to his class, teacher, therapists and friends. Who wouldn't be excited to take this fun backpack to school everyday! (I found it at Target for $8 and then spruced it up with his name with letters from a local craft store and sports patches he picked out...he's been wearing it around the house for 2 weeks and now he finally gets to take it to school :)

It's an incredible process to go through as a parent, when you see your children off to school for the first time. I experienced this a bit with Ryder last year as it was his first time going to pre-school, but he was going for less time and for some reason, it was easier for me then since I knew he was ready and understood what was happening. This time, it was harder for me since Cole will be going everyday with a new teacher, and two new therapists. I wasn't sure he'd understand that I was leaving him this time and not sitting on the floor during therapy, wiping his nose when he needed it and holding his hand when he needed to walk to the bathroom.

I am the PTO President again this year and was at his school the day before the first day, getting our new PTO Bulletin Board ready. It was great to say hello to so many of the staff members who were buzzing about getting ready for the next day :) Right before I left, I found out that one of his therapists had changed for the year, and instead of having one new therapist, and one he already knew well, he'd have two new therapists.

Driving on the way home from school that afternoon, I experienced a time with the Lord I haven't had in a while. It was one of those moments where just the right amount of sleep deprivation from staying up late the night before and physically taxing chores that morning primed my 8 month pregnant body for a good cry. It was the kind that can't be suppressed with a cleansing deep breath and logical reasoning because it comes from somewhere deeper than our rational thinking can reach. The truth I knew with my head said that everything would be fine because God is ultimately in control and He doesn't make mistakes. My heart though, cried out to God since I felt like maybe, He'd forgotten about my boy.

There is nothing that brings us closer to our Maker than honestly pouring our heart out to Him. Not telling Him what we think He wants to hear, but really talking to Him as we would a trusted friend. I know and BELIEVE so many truths about God including His promise to never leave or forsake us. In that moment, however, when I thought, for just a moment, that I needed to remind the God who created my boy to not forget about him, He reminded me of something I'll never forget...

Not only does He SEE Cole, and remember him, but He LOVES him with a love that runs deeper than any kind of love even a mother could have for her child. He doesn't get distracted or even tired in caring for his children, like I sometimes do...He doesn't have "off" days that He wishes He could do over or moments of poor judgement or unsound thinking.

His love for us is PERFECT and never fails.

And then it came...

The thought that only the Holy Spirit could've brought to me amidst my tears of concern for my boy as I thought of my 3 year old adjusting to being at school 5 days a week with 3 new people caring for him at different times. We are HERE for more than just Cole. HERE meaning Illinois, and in life. Not only does God see MY son, but he also sees all HIS children. I believe wholeheartedly that we are in Illinois for Cole, John, and the rest of our family as much as we are here for those we come in contact with along the way. His plan and vision for our family's journey concerns far more than just us and our health and safety. In fact, we've had a closer relationship with those who work at our local hospital because of our "health issues" than any other time on our lives! It is clear that good health is not the final goal.

Circumstances happen to draw us closer to God and to lead us to others who He wants us to interact with in life. Everything else is secondary. Our health and safety are not our primary goal...it is knowing God more and loving others He draws us into community with.

Cole has been to 2 days of school now and loved every moment. He jumps onto the playground in the morning when we drop him off at 9:00 and comes out of his therapy room all smiles when we pick him up at noon. He's going half days now and will move to full days after labor day. His teachers and therapists have been incredibly encouraging as they share with us how well he's done so far in his class of 3 boys, 2 girls, and in therapy - already achieving one of the goals on his sheet the first day with one of his new therapists! My Dad is right...As Cole grows, those around him will grow to respect such a confident and independent disposition in him as he represents one who doesn't even let deafness stand in the way of his goals and dreams.

I'm just thankful to have front row seats to it all!