Our Inspired Journey

Happy Valentines everyone!

My present to Danice is that I write a blog, here is a quick somethin’ , something’ from the less articulate of our partnership.

So I’m not a huge fan of so called “Christian” music—you know, the slightly emo boy band with coldplay’esque guitar rhythms and poor lyrics but I did come across a tune that is speaking to me now. It’s worth 3 minutes of your time.

I can’t do this alone.

There have only been a few times in my life where the brevity of a situation causes me to feel child-like in a way that somewhere deep inside says “I’m not ready to step into” whatever it is I’m about to step into. That I don’t have it—whatever it is. I’m not capable, I don’t have the talent, the preparation, the .....

It usually surrounds a major event: the day of our wedding, Ryder's birth, right after Bryan’s death, the whole trip to Illinois, its been awhile but I had another episode the night before my interviews began in Southern California and this song is reminding me of the same sentiment in regard to my Valentines.

For me it’s an on the verge of tears, lump in my throat, chills, wow...this-situation-is-way-bigger-than-I-am sort of thing. It’s when I am stripped of any confidence, physically, emotionally, spiritually and I just cry out “I can’t do this alone.” So here I am again, realizing anew, that I can’t do this alone. That on my own I have nothing to offer all 5 of my valentines, on my own I don’t know how to love the way they need to be loved, on my own I don’t know how to lead them.

Thank God I’m not doing this alone. Here’s to a new year of learning from my heavenly Dad.