After a very long "single-parenting" day while John directed the band at a basketball tournament an hour away, I get a call from him saying that our team (who was favored to lose) won.
Instead of coming home tonight, he'll have to stay another day. He'll basically be there everyday until they loose.
Ryder cheered, and my heart sunk. Ryder is a huge fan of any Illinois team and cheers for every victory they have. I am not such a big fan lately since every victory they have in this tournament means more single-parenting time for me. Sound selfish? It is. Just keepin' it real.
My first, carnal desire was to put the kids to bed as fast as I could, so I could call my parents to tell them how tired and discouraged I felt. I wanted to hear that I was justified in feeling this way! I wanted someone to pat my back, cry with me and tell me what a crummy day I had.
I realized I could either react in frustration, which just makes every little thing that bothered me before that much worse, or in all of my tiredness ask God to help me have HIS perspective...
With a deep breath and quick audible prayer He helped me...
Hold one more body on my lap as everyone tries to get the "best spot" on Mommy for book time (while I'm nursing Rylee)...
Read an extra chapter in the book Ryder wanted me to as he looked on with anticipation...
Hold Cole a little longer when he cried out of frustration over not having his favorite PJ's clean for bed...
Hold princess Cora's hand as she walked me down the hall to show me her baby doll, one more time...
Take an extra moment with Rylee and pray over her as she gazed into my eyes, smiled softly, and reached her little hands up to touch my face while I changed her diaper...
And in each of these moments, I heard Jesus calling me...
“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
Matthew 19:14
Lord, forgive me for the times my attitude is affected more by the circumstances around me than your everlasting truth, which calls me to love. Transform my heart to beat in sync with yours, so that when the waves come and I begin to panic with the tipping boat, I don't seek justification for my feelings from others, but instead ask your Spirit to give me strength and faith to step out of the boat, and show my kids that we serve a God who walks on the waves!!!
You bring me JOY...all the time...you are SO good my beautiful Savior.
And that is the abundant life in action! Choose to live "in Christ" or live in my "selfish ambition". I must confess I default too often to the latter! I'm praying for your strength in Christ to bring victory every day as you parent, Danice. God is faithful. How did the Wesley's mother do it with 12???
Love,
Grammie
I know how you feel. Michael is rarely home before the kids get in bed and even has to work weekends. I often have to pray through the day and push down my complaints that well up inside. I know that his hard work allows me to be home with my kids and, even on the hardest days, I would never want to trade that. I know with 4 it must be even harder on those "single parent" days.