May is National Better Speech and Hearing Month. Every day this month, I've been re-posting one blog entry a day on Facebook, starting from the beginning... from Cole's first hearing test until now. It's been humbling and amazing to go through the experience all over again, remembering how we felt and the way God met us in new and fresh ways along each step of the journey. You can click on "Cole's CI Journey" under labels at the bottom right hand column of this site, or become my friend on Facebook if you'd like to start receiving the posts in the order I re-post them.
Today, I posted the entry I wrote while waiting in the hospital waiting room when Cole was in surgery. You can read it HERE.
Memories of sitting, helplessly waiting for my boy to return to me from the hands of the doctors flooded my heart and mind again. I remembered wanting to do something that would guarantee he would be okay. If there was anything I could do to ensure his safe return to me, no sacrifice would be too great for that kind of assurance.
That's when it came. It wasn't a brilliant idea or masterful plan of deliverance that I thought up in the hours I lay in wait. It was a deep, incomparable peace that rested deep within my soul. This peace came when I let go of the things that were out of my control and took hold of the knowledge I had of the ONE who held my boy in His hands.
Even as he slept, the God who formed him, held him.
He saw him, knew him by name and held him close, when I could not.
It is incredible to me that on the very day that it is time to post this part of Cole's journey, my Aunt lays in a hospital room, in a coma, in need of a touch from this very same God.
My family is waiting...
Some of us are far away physically but near to her in prayer, while others wait by her bedside, waiting for any sign of change to bring the answers we all so desperately seek.
I don't know what will happen,
or the hour when answers will come,
but I know the God who does.
Sometimes in these moments when we so badly want answers to bring us peace, we have to sit and find rest in the One who holds her heart in His hands.
I found this peace and rest 2.5 years ago when Cole was in surgery, and find it again now as I put my trust in the God who knows more about my aunt than any test or doctor could tell us.
He knows the number of hairs on her head,
He knows when her heart will beat before it does,
and every thought she has before her mouth can speak it.
And what brings me an unfathomable amount of peace, rest and security is that in these moments,
when she is shut off from the world who so desperately wants to connect with her,
She can hear the still small voice of the One who made her.
When we don't know what to do,
We are called to run straight to the One who does...
Nothing is too hard for you, Lord.
No matter what the doctors or tests predict will happen, we run to you on behalf of a life you made.
We love, you and trust you.
Even now.
Just like David in Psalm 121, we pray...
I raise my eyes toward the mountains.
Where will my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not allow your foot to slip;
your Protector will not slumber.
Indeed, the Protector of Israel
does not slumber or sleep.
The LORD protects you;
the LORD is a shelter right by your side.
The sun will not strike you by day,
or the moon by night.
The LORD will protect you from all harm;
He will protect your life.
The LORD will protect your coming and going
both now and forever.
This was true of YOU then, and we believe you are the same God today, in her hospital room right now. Be with those who wait. May they feel your presence and your peace knowing that you know her, see her and hold her even now. Increase our faith as we wait. Remind us that Christians are not strong people, they just know where to run. We run to you know Lord. Help us in our unbelief. And for those who have yet to believe, may they find you as my Aunt Michele already has...and find that there is PEACE for those who put their trust in You...Amen.
That's when it came. It wasn't a brilliant idea or masterful plan of deliverance that I thought up in the hours I lay in wait. It was a deep, incomparable peace that rested deep within my soul. This peace came when I let go of the things that were out of my control and took hold of the knowledge I had of the ONE who held my boy in His hands.
Even as he slept, the God who formed him, held him.
He saw him, knew him by name and held him close, when I could not.
It is incredible to me that on the very day that it is time to post this part of Cole's journey, my Aunt lays in a hospital room, in a coma, in need of a touch from this very same God.
My family is waiting...
Some of us are far away physically but near to her in prayer, while others wait by her bedside, waiting for any sign of change to bring the answers we all so desperately seek.
I don't know what will happen,
or the hour when answers will come,
but I know the God who does.
Sometimes in these moments when we so badly want answers to bring us peace, we have to sit and find rest in the One who holds her heart in His hands.
I found this peace and rest 2.5 years ago when Cole was in surgery, and find it again now as I put my trust in the God who knows more about my aunt than any test or doctor could tell us.
He knows the number of hairs on her head,
He knows when her heart will beat before it does,
and every thought she has before her mouth can speak it.
And what brings me an unfathomable amount of peace, rest and security is that in these moments,
when she is shut off from the world who so desperately wants to connect with her,
She can hear the still small voice of the One who made her.
When we don't know what to do,
We are called to run straight to the One who does...
Nothing is too hard for you, Lord.
No matter what the doctors or tests predict will happen, we run to you on behalf of a life you made.
We love, you and trust you.
Even now.
Just like David in Psalm 121, we pray...
I raise my eyes toward the mountains.
Where will my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not allow your foot to slip;
your Protector will not slumber.
Indeed, the Protector of Israel
does not slumber or sleep.
The LORD protects you;
the LORD is a shelter right by your side.
The sun will not strike you by day,
or the moon by night.
The LORD will protect you from all harm;
He will protect your life.
The LORD will protect your coming and going
both now and forever.
This was true of YOU then, and we believe you are the same God today, in her hospital room right now. Be with those who wait. May they feel your presence and your peace knowing that you know her, see her and hold her even now. Increase our faith as we wait. Remind us that Christians are not strong people, they just know where to run. We run to you know Lord. Help us in our unbelief. And for those who have yet to believe, may they find you as my Aunt Michele already has...and find that there is PEACE for those who put their trust in You...Amen.
