Our Inspired Journey

There's something about being a mother that constantly keeps your heart on its toes.  As soon as you feel like you might pull your hair out during one stage, another one comes that you makes you wish the first one was still there.  I guess this is what every mother I talk to who was once in my place means when she says..."Enjoy every moment.  It goes by SO fast."  Do you hear that all the time?  I do.  Usually it's when I'm grocery shopping with all four kids by myself or carrying one and pushing two in a stroller up a hill on a walk when I'll hear..."I'd trade places with you in a heart beat."
"Really?  Now?"  I think to myself...but now I get it.

One of those moments happened again at our house two weeks ago.
My oldest started Kindergarten.
As I walked him through each "event" leading up to the big first day (Kindergarten play day, Orientation, etc.) It hit me that he would now be spending most of his time in another place.

For 6 years, Ryder has been my constant companion.

In the past 6 years, I've experienced some of the most beautiful moments sandwiched in between some of the most difficult times.  The kind that if you make it through, you can't help but come out changed forever.  Through those moments, since he's been alive...he's been beside me through it all.

On a Tuesday morning two weeks ago, this all changed.
We woke up as usual, ate breakfast but then instead of going about our day of reading, playing games, and taking a walk to the park like we got in the habit of doing on most days, John and I drove our boy to school, walked him to the kindergarten playground, and watched as he excitedly began a new kind of "normal."

Saying goodbye to Gramma and Auntie Ine before leaving

Having been a kindergarten teacher in the past, I know it's often times harder for the parents to say goodbye than for the kids.  That was definitely true of my Ryder.  He was so excited to make new friends, and start going to school like his older friends.  I found myself not really knowing what to do once I helped him hang up his backpack, put his lunch in the tub and then watched as he ran to the sandbox to join his new friends :)
Once the bell rang and they were instructed to line up behind their new teachers, he ran up to me since he didn't see Mrs. Wallace at first.  I pointed out his line, walked him to the end of it and whispered in his ear..."Isn't this fun...these are all your new friends!"  He gave me a sideways glance and sort of brushed my leg saying, "Okay mom...You can go now," as his teacher made her way to the front of the line.  There was no doubt in my mind at that moment :)  He was ready for Kindergarten!

Mrs. Wallace and Ryder :)

As bittersweet is is to let my boy go, I know that for now...he's where God wants him to be.