Along with being a recovering perfectionist, I'm also in the process of letting go of my desire to please every person I meet. Most of my life, I've given every job, role or responsibility I've had, my everything. I do believe God has given everyone gifts that He wants to them to use to the fullest every time they have the chance to do so. Operating in our giftings with humility means that God gets the credit and glory for anything good coming from us every time. It gets tricky, however, when you pair passionate perfectionistic tendencies with pride. This is the enemy's way of meaning for evil, what God intended for good.
God's intention:
For me to be carry out His calling for me with passion and excellence,
giving Him my BEST for HIS glory.
My Utmost for His Highest.
This means I am delighting in Him...and becoming a God-delighter!
The enemy's intention:
To take my passion for excellence and turn it into a quest for perfection.
Then he tempts me to lower my eyes from bringing God glory, so that I begin to want glory for myself.
I want people to look at me and think I have it all together.
This means I'm slave to people's thoughts of me...and have become a People-pleaser.
The enemy likes to take what God intended for good, and distract us into destructive patterns that we sometimes don't even realize we are operating in. There are many incredibly gifted people that have been given passions and abilities intended to bring God glory everytime they speak a word, move their paintbrush, dance a step, cook a meal, use their creativity, save a company from financial ruin, save a life, or give a cup of cold water in the saving name of Jesus. The problem, is that the ememy wins every time he can convince us that it is sweeter to hear our name praised for our "accomplishments" rather than God's. This my friend, is a trap I am ready to rid myself of.
I want to trade my desire to please people, for a life-long passion of delighting in Him.
My prayer for this blog is that it be filled with chronicles of that journey, and that at the end of it all, the headline will read...
"People-pleaser transformed into God-delighter!"
Recently, I visited a passage in Matthew 10 that has always plagued me...
Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn
"a man against his father, a daughter against her mother,
a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—
a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household."
a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—
a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household."
Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.
I know, it's confusing. Why would this God of LOVE call us to be enemies with the ones who love us the most. If he desires us to live in peace, why would He talk about bringing a sword instead? In this passage, Jesus is telling the disciples and the rest of the world, how radical love and devotion to Him really looks in comparison to even our most precious relationships here on earth. I love my family more than any other human beings on the earth...but Jesus knows that even my healthiest relationships with them can't come close to being enough for me. My love, devotion and commitment to HIM must surpass even these. Using the word enemy in this passage, gives us an idea of how serious He is.
Don't think I've come to make life cozy. I've come to cut—make a sharp knife-cut between son and father, daughter and mother, bride and mother-in-law—cut through these cozy domestic arrangements and free you for God. Well-meaning family members can be your worst enemies. If you prefer father or mother over me, you don't deserve me. If you prefer son or daughter over me, you don't deserve me.
If you don't go all the way with me, through thick and thin, you don't deserve me. If your first concern is to look after yourself, you'll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you'll find both yourself and me.
Not only is being a people-pleaser tiring and impossible to be successful at (since there is no way we can please everyone!)...it's a sin, and keeps us from authentic communion with the God who wants all of us. We were made for Him first. I LOVE the people He's placed in my life, and am thankful for the community I have in my friends and family.
People are a support to me...but HE is my strength and portion.
My family has known me since birth...but HE knew me before the beginning of time.
People are an encouragement to me...but HE is the BREAD of LIFE!
My friends give me their time...but HE gave me his LIFE!
Jesus, thank you for the amazing family, and incredible network of friends you've given us to journey through life with...I am incredibly grateful for them. I want to hear your voice loudest, feel your love the strongest and cling more strongly to the knowledge of YOU than any wisdom the world could give. Help me when I fall short of your desire for me and resort to people-pleasing...more than all of that, I want to DELIGHT in you...you are my everything, and when I live this way, I'm the mother, wife, daughter and sister you've truly called me to be in the lives of the people I love. This is truly, authentic community. God-delighters journeying together, using every opportunity to give you glory. That's what I want to be about...For your kingdom, For your glory, and For the Ones you've called me to LOVE.
