Our Inspired Journey

First of all, is this not the cutest Mother's Day gift you've ever seen in your whole, entire life???  Well, it is to me...and yes...it has everything to do with the little outlaw in the photo.

Actually this pretty much sums up my life, role and commissioned work of being a mom to the four I get to call mine.  See that's how we think when we start out.  We think they are ours.  But over time, as I've headed in the right direction, I've learned differently.  Very differently...

I remember over seven years ago, when I found out for the first time, that I was going to be a mom.  I was beyond ecstatic.  I'd been waiting for this moment since the time I was a little girl, tucking my baby dolls in at night, dreaming of the day when they'd really cry. :)  Well that day came, and I remember the moment he was born thinking..."I can't believe he's ours!"  All those years of babysitting other people's kids and now here was one I got to keep.  It was almost more than I could handle!  Actually...that's exactly what it was because after a week of having my sweet boy home, I was rushed to the Emergency Room with raging fever and while painfully trying to nurse my hungry baby boy, I was diagnosed with a pretty bad case of mastitis among other things.  Motherhood was already, more than I could handle.

Well, babies 2, 3 and 4 all gave me a run for my money in their first few weeks of life, all through different nursing issues.  And even though I found myself walking the same road over and over and had some tricks up my sleeve for solving the issues without a visit to the ER every time, I still remember thinking..."Oh Lord...I really need you now."

Over the years of bringing home all four of my babies, I've learned something.  Before I was a mom, I think I focused more on the first half of this verse..."I can do all things..." finding it empowering that God had given me abilities to exercise.  Since becoming a mother, I like the last part of this verse a whole lot more.  "...through CHRIST who strengthens me."

Looking back on seven years of caring for my babies, tears start flowing as I think of how much of me, I've given to them...my time, my sleep, my money, my gifts, my talents, my career.  Motherhood can be seen as one big HUGE sacrifice.  Which it is.

But something happens when you begin to look at motherhood through the perspective of Colossians 3:23 and begin to see your kids for WHOSE they really are.

SO here it is...after 7 years, here is where I've landed in this whole crazy journey called motherhood.  This is where I live in my mind and heart on the best days I have as a mom.  Are you ready???  Here it is...{drum roll please}...I realize they are not mine.


When I get too attached to the idea that everything they say, do, eat and breathe speaks to MY efforts and MY reputation...I get caught in a downward spiral real quick.  The enemy either swells my pride on good days or cuts my self-worth down to nothing on the days there is spaghetti sauce on the ceiling and a not-so-happy note home from school.

When I realign my mind with God's Word that says that I am to work for the Lord, not for men remembering that my highest aim as a mother is not that my children end up perfectly polished specimens of human life to submit to the world on their 18th birthday but instead my goal is to raise men and women who know where to run when life isn't pretty...that they know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that their strength comes from a God who is above any other and who promises them peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self control when their will is aligned with His....and who will never leave them or forsake them.  Because if they know all that and trust that Jesus is who He says He is...than they truly can do all things in the strength of the One who IS...not who might be sometimes, or who usually is, but who is....ALWAYS.

taken last summer, but oh so sweet....

As a mother to my four, God in His kindness has drawn me close and whispered this very good thing to my heart...