I've promised many of you this post for a while, and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to finally share!
But, better late than never! In case you haven't noticed, that's my mantra these days. :)
Well, here it is...the chore chart we've grown to LOVE in our house. Before I go any further, I have to tell you I did NOT make it up myself. I got it from a blog that's been giving us all kinds of ideas lately, called Confessions of a Homeschooler. It is filled with great ideas for parenting, whether you are homeschooling or not!
The direct link for THIS chore chart is HERE. One of the things I love about Miss Erica over at Confessions, is she shares her gifts so freely. There are SO many printables available on her site that she created and offers for free...I LOVE it! Brilliant ideas that fit my budget...it doesn't get much better than that!
We've tried many different CHORE systems before, and some worked for a short time, but then either I or the kids fizzled out fast. I'll admit...sometimes giving young kids chores just means I've given myself more chores! Can anyone else relate?
That's why I like this system. We started it about a year ago, and it's taken this long for me to write about it. Finally though, I'm writing to you from my clean house...after a whole day inside! I know...crazy but it works. Any routine takes a while to get used to, and consistent practice to truly be effective. The more we've gone through the motions, the more natural it's become for us and especially....them! That's my favorite part. Just because I really want you to have this too..the quiet moment at the end of a long day in your clean house, I had to share...
Here's how this system has worked well for us.
After I downloaded the cards, I went through them and took out the chores that didn't apply to our family. We don't have a pet so those were easy to spot right away! I saved all the cards though, just in case they apply in the future.
Each child then gets the same chores all week. For example, I placed the same chores in Ryder's row Monday-Friday so he could get used to them and by the end of the week, he was a pro! I did the same for the others.
Each day, the kids actually got excited to go to their pocket to see which chores I gave them (at first they didn't realize they were the same all week!) In the beginning, we didn't have a designated chore "time." They just did them throughout the day. Now, we have a time before and after dinner where they check their pocket for the day, and work through their chores.
Once they complete a chore, they turn it over in their pocket and place it behind the rest, so the blank side faces out.
At the end of the day, we have "commission" time. This came from a Dave Ramsey class we took where he talked about the value of kids earning commission for the tasks they complete rather than getting an automatic allowance. It's a mentality thing. Now, I realize there is value in kids learning to help around the house because that's what we do as a family - without the motivation of money. I get it, and there are many times in our day when I ask for help with something, and I get lots of volunteers! I think the bigger issue here has more to do with the spirit of cooperation we as parents foster in our home. When they see Mom and Dad helping each other...when we as parents jump up to help our kids with a cheerful heart rather than an eye roll and complaint, then God is honored and it is reflected in the response our kids give us when we ask for help around the house.
During commission time, each kid grabs their piggy bank and sits, ready for John or I to go through their pockets...
We started by giving one penny for every chore they completed. I'm telling you..they didn't care about the money. It was more of a symbol of our appreciation! As inflation goes, we now give them a nickel for each chore that is turned over in the chart at the end of the night.
I start with a different kid every night, and lay out their cards. We go through every chore they completed and I put a nickel right under the card.
There is a reward card at the end of each child's row in the chart. If they finish ALL the chores in their pocket that day, they get a sticker on that chart. Once they have nine stickers, filling it all up, they get an ice cream date with Mom or Dad!
There are some days when a chore doesn't need to be done, like helping fold laundry (for this one, I have them fold their own and usually one boy has "fold" and the other has "put away"). When there isn't any laundry to be folded, for example, I tell them they won't get a nickel for that chore, but if they complete everything else, they still get a sticker on their reward chart because they checked with me!
We don't use the pink and green tickets in any way right now.
When we first started this system, I assigned kids the chores I knew they could do. I paced myself, knowing that I could only give one or two chores to each kid that they would need my help with, or this system was just going to make more work for me and frustrate them as well!
It is amazing though as I have decided to patiently trudge through the task of helping the boys learn to wash dishes and even help Cora vacuum, how excited they are to help! They feel so special that I would let them help me with such grown-up tasks, and even if they don't do them perfectly, they start them well enough that it motivates me to finish! When Cora comes to me as says it's time to vacuum, it's great! She helps me with half and then I thank her, send her on her way to flip over her vacuum card and I finish the rest! When the boys come and ask me where the laundry is to fold, it actually gets the laundry out of the dryer, they fold theirs and I'm reminded to put mine away too!
When the kids go to bed and I'm tired from a long day, it's refreshing to know that the house is ready for the next day to start. And my kids helped with that!
It's important that before you start, you realize that when you first begin, it WILL feel like extra work for you. But remember this good word from Hebrew's 12:11...
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And discipline, is systematic, intentional training in the way we should go. Don't we all need that!
We're at the point now, where they are familiar enough with the chores that some kids have their "favorites." So now, at the beginning of the month, I lay out all the chore cards and let them take turns picking what they want in their pocket for the month. I actually have been giving them the same chore cards for the whole month since it's nice to get into a routine, and have them learn a task and stick with it for the month. This allows for correction and refinement to take place without switching things up too fast.
There are some chores I tell Ryder and Cole they can't have in their pockets because they are just expected to do those at their age....like "Get Dressed" and "Make your Bed." But for my 3 year old, Miss Cora Grace...these chores are stretching her to develop good routines!
Even our little 2 year old, Rylee Joy loves her chores! She always gets..."Get Dressed", "Take a Nap" and "Brush Teeth." You should see her little face when I ask her if she's done her chores for the day..."YES!" she always tells me with such a sweet smile on her face!
For those of you who think I'm creating little army-like robots at too young an age, I have to level with you...this is called "SURVIVAL" for a mother of four 18-22 months apart! It's as much for me as it is them! I really do want them to learn responsibility around the house, and grow into kids who appreciate all it takes to keep our house running, but honestly, I figured out a LONG time ago, I can't do it all on my own, nor should I! What started out as an exercise in responsibility for my kids, has become a BLESSING to me when the house is clean every night before everyone hits their pillow.
My kids learned to help, and everyone knows where their toys and underwear are. It's a win-win for everyone!
I hope you are blessed by this system or another as much as we are! If you have any more questions about how this works for us, please feel free to ask!
Bottom line...no system is perfect, no kid is perfect, no parent is perfect...but this one sure does help us work out our imperfections together the best I've seen! It may not be easy at first, but someday you'll write me from your clean house and thank me! Better yet, thank Erica and then thank God that He called us to this crazy hard, and unbelievably rewarding journey called PARENTING in the first place!
What a good, patient and perfect Father HE is to US.
Lord, help us act with the same patient, steadfast intentionality you do with us. I pray you give every parent reading these words the mind and heart of Christ in raising the children you've given them. We need you, Jesus. Thank you for promising to never leave us or forsake us as we strive to "train them up in the way they should go..." Your Spirit is a a perfect counselor to us in the process, like water to dry and thirsty souls. Fill us to overflowing today, Lord! Your kids (us and them!) are worth it. You said so with your life.
Amen.
Happy Training Everyone!!!
