Another one of those morally neutral, potentially wonderful but often harmful cultural phenomena's I couldn't wait any longer to write about.
Some of you already stopped reading.
It's because you like your phone.
I get it.
You don't want to be told what to do, and I won't. I promise. If you're still there, I merely offer my viewpoint as a friend and fellow human-being who loves to connect with other human-beings. And the chances are, if you like your phone...then you're just like me. Just someone who likes to connect!
The difficult part of this whole cell phone thing, (and you know what I mean...the phone never leaving the hand epidemic going on these days) is that it takes you out of where you are, and to another place, with another person who isn't sitting or standing right next to you. That "other" person isn't bad, nor is it terrible to want to connect with them...but how does the person across from you feel when your cell phone, either by text or ring, automatically trump any conversation you were currently involved in with the flesh and blood sitting within feet of you at the moment?
Years ago (and yes, I know I sound old) cell phones were truly for emergencies. Somehow the world survived just fine going out to dinner or coffee without needing to be reached within seconds by anyone else with a phone, 24 hours a day. Now, it's different. It's somehow perfectly "acceptable" to detach from the people you are around, to scroll through FB or check e-mail mid-sentence even. I wish I was interrupted more by "emergency" phone calls...it would make me feel a whole lot better about the whole thing, but when you're in the middle of prayer with someone and the vibrations from their "silenced" phone keep cutting you off, I really think it's time to explore some "boundaries" for your technology addiction.
Let me make sure I'm honest here... I have a cell phone. I use my cell phone daily. I even check it throughout times of the day to see if someone has tried to reach me. But when I am in conversation with someone, my little friend does not need to be next to me on the table as a third presence in our party. It gets silenced, and goes in my bag. I want the person across from me to know that I value them. I'm here for THEM. Anyone else I love that may be trying to reach me, can wait until my time with my flesh-and-blood friend right across the table from me at that moment, is through.
Whew. I hope that wasn't too intense. Okay, maybe I do. I'm pretty passionate about people knowing how deeply loved and valued they are...about people having real connection with those around them...and while cell phones aren't wrong, I think they can make people feel like they just don't matter as much as the information, FB feed, email or text-er on the other end of the line.
John and I are going through a phase right now in our parenting, where we're trying to teach our kids not to interrupt us when we're in a conversation with someone else. They can touch our arm, we'll know they are there and have something to say, but we make every effort to finish the conversation we are in, before hearing from them. That will be a very hard lesson for them to learn, if the cultural norm continues to become one where a person will stop mid-sentence to check an alert on their phone.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who has felt devalued recently, and I also know I'm not completely innocent in the matter at times either, but if we make effort to value the people we're around, I know we can avoid interactions like the one this video so poignantly captured...(thanks to my brother for posting it...I haven't laughed this loud in a loooong time!)
wow.... perfect post for the times we live in.
thank you.
Amen Danice!! I went to the water park on Saturday and I can't tell you how many people were sitting in chairs focused on their phones (at a water park, where fun is to be had!) Then tonight I was at Caeden's football practice and literally 8 of 10 parents were glued to their phones. Ahhhhhhhh, people, there ARE real life people right in front of you! I'm happy to have a cell phone that doesn't even connect to the inernet and even happier that I'm not on FB! I'm not sure how everyone makes time for internet life and real life but I certainly don't have that kind of time so if one is going.... its the internet! Ok, I'm done venting. :)
I couldn't agree with you more...it is so annoying to ask my teenage daughter a question only to be waiting and waiting, then see she is texting, then she will say "just a minute", then she will ask "what did you say?" By then I have forgotten what it was that I said! I finally made a couple of rules with all of our grown children....no cellphones when we are in the car and no cellphones when we are at the table...it's just plain rude. Here is one of my concerns....we have created a dilemma with this little piece of technology. In addition to it just wasting our time with FB, internet, etc., it is used for important calls that are emergencies....such as our child was in an accident at school and he is on his way to the hospital, so you were called. Or you are trying to get ahold of someone such as a doctor, counselor, etc. and because your schedule can't keep you glued to the phone at home (like the old days....my mom was always home doing the laundry, ironing, or cleaning) you give the office your cell phone number in order to not miss the call. So when you are out with some friends, you excuse yourself and take the call. I am not saying that one should not establish some rules regarding the cellphone within your family ... we did ... but I see it almost impossible not to have some exceptions to the rules, unless we want to calm down our lives and our children's lives with less meetings to attend, sports games and practices, AWANA, youth groups, Bible studies, committees, etc.....which by the way are all good things, but our children's schedules are way too busy....we have allowed the sign of the times to become our way of life. Then we slip into abusing the rules because it's right there beside us. Or we get home after a long day of running errands and our spouse wants to know where we have been and why didn't we call....(what kind of state would he been in if he lived in the "old days" when there was no phone!) Maybe by eliminating so much use of the cellphone, we can create a more balanced, calmer life in all aspects....just a thought. Thanks for letting me share.